if i only lacked a brain

it would be so easy to believe; to think that everything was going to somehow be alright in the end.
 if i could just take the heart from my chest and toss it into the flames.
if i could somehow allow myself to become cold and indifferent
not just towards my own feelings but towards the world as a whole.

forget the way she licks her lips when she's crawling across my chest

if i could somehow become evil, mean and greedy,
perhaps i could erase these expressions of pain, of loss, of sorrow...
maybe write a book, then toss it upon the fireplace maybe someday i learn

i sing at my own funeral, they stolen my voice and now i am blessed and i burn

if i could teach myself to stop caring, perhaps i could allow myself to be free of the weight...
i could wake up tomorrow on the moon, far removed from the screams.. perhaps mars??
but there's always a voice in the back of my mind crying out, boy...
you're gonna carry that weight... carry that weight a long time.

my eyes against the window pressed, trying to look inside... trying to find a hole in the floor